i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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