Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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