Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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