READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
