look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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