the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
