This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am available for nakedness
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
