It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
