Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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