gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
