i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
