he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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