I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
