Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
