Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
