...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My first STD was from a foam party
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
