so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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