hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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