It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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