Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
