Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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