I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
