fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
found the other keg... it's in the tree
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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