chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
