I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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