Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
