In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
