once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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