is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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