Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
