So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
