but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
