We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
