i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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