Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
