you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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