You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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