You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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