From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
