Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
