she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
