oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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