Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
