been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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