In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
