She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
