i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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