drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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