I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.