He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
