I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
