my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize