glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
