How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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