idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
