My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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