this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
