This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i think my cat just said my name.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
