I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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