ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
