U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
