remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
