Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize