He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have feelings that need drinking.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
