Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
