peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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